One of the worst things you can do when establishing communication with other people is not using your body language correctly or enough, especially your eye contact, and this is what I’m going to talk about today.
Usually, I write posts about seduction and attraction, for men and for women as well, but today, I’m going to make this post much more general, in other words, I’m going to tell you about the most important secrets of using eye contact for building rapport and for also making other people know what you mean and know who you really are.
First, let me tell you a little story about myself.
For a very long time of my life, I was a very shy person, I couldn’t establish eye contact with other people, and I always had fears in my mind that if I looked at them for a long time, they would become very angry and they would even cause me troubles!
And this is what I want you to understand today, eye contact is very important for establishing good rapport with people, but if you use too much of it, it can be very devastating.
The first rule you need to understand about using your body language for communication, especially eye contact is that too much can break a relationship very quickly.
In the animal kingdom, prolonged eye contact can mean two things: fight or sex!
And even if we live in modern societies, with technology, rules, and regulations, we are still, deep down: animals, we behave with our instincts most of the time, we have our psychology and biology rule and guide us, and when someone uses eye contact for a very long time with us, we use our instincts to interpret what he wants to convey to us, and we perceive him or her as a danger most of the time.
Don’t use eye contact a lot, and please, never exceed the seven second rules.
The seven second rules is a technique I’ve developed some fifteen years ago, I was very young back then and I always would find myself in troubles!
Because I was very shy, when people talked to me, I would immediately look down or look elsewhere, this made me look terrible and unattractive, I soon started thinking about this and I invented a game with this rule: when you are with someone, the maximum amount of eye contact you can make is seven seconds, then, you need to either smile or look somewhere else, if you are dealing with a woman or a man, and you would like to seduce him or her, you have to smile afterwards, and if you are dealing with people you are not interested in sexually, never establish eye contact for more than five seconds, it can be a declaration of war and conflict.
Let’s talk now about the second thing you need to learn about body language and eye contact, it tells a lot about who you are.
If you are not very confident person, having too little eye contact can be devastating for you and to remedy this, there is no other way around, you need to increase your self-confidence, and the best way for you to do this is to meet other people and communicate with them, don’t forget that eye contact is very important for communication, if you neglect this, you will always be perceived as shallow.
So, use your body language, especially your eye contact while, it’s one of the best tools you have in order to communicate your ideas clearly and confidently, but please, don’t use it in a very restricted way, in other words, break eye contact quickly, but never exceed five seconds if you are dealing with customers or acquaintances and seven seconds if you are dealing with people you are interested in sexually.