Today, I would like to talk about a very important subject, neediness in a relationship, it can do a lot of damage and also cause infidelity and breakups much quickly, it’s because deep down, we don’t like needy people, they make us feel uncomfortable and even worse, they make us responsible for them which is burdening and also very tiring!
So, are you a needy person in your relationship? Then, here is how you can stop being so, and I promise that my advice are going to help you tremendously.
- The first psychological technique is to grow your self-esteem and develop it.
Nathaniel Brandon is a psychotherapist who was the first to start the self-esteem movement, he passed away in December of 2014 R.I.P, and personally, his books and materials have helped me with my dating life more than any other books or seminars I’ve been to, and one of the most important lessons I’ve learned from him was the fact that our self-esteem is a mirror of our soul!
You are needy because deep down you don’t trust yourself enough, you always tell yourself that if you take initiatives and allow yourself to show who you really are, people are not going to like you!
That’s why you rely on others to make you feel good; you rely on them to bring you satisfaction and joy! Well, this will never work!
To stop being needy in a relationship, you have to have very strong self-esteem and self-confidence, and unfortunately, this is beyond the scope of this post, that’s why I’m only going to share with you the two most important resources you need to use in order to achieve this:
You need to read these two excellent books by Nathaniel Brandon: the first one is called “Honoring The Self” and the second one is called “The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem“.
In these two books, you will find some exercises that are excellent for growing your self-esteem and making you rely on yourself and see how great you are.
- Another very important thing about self-esteem and being needy in a relationship is the fact that you need to achieve little victories in your life.
I’m sure that you are needy because deep down you are scared of taking initiatives, you probably think that people are not going to like you when you shine, even worse, the person you are with right now is going to hate what you have become, that’s why you need to have little victories, start taking small initiatives, start making decisions, start to voice your opinion, even better, start to relax back and allow things to happen, it’s the best way to gain confidence and to start becoming less needy in your relationship.
- Let’s talk now about the second psychological technique in order to become powerful and stronger in your relationship: have a laid-back attitude!
Sometimes, we are needy because we want to do things the right way, we see people in our lives failing, and we want to help them, we want to listen to them, we want to assist them, however, they will not see this from our perspective, and they will always see us as clingy and very needy.
That’s why you need to have a laid-back attitude, whenever things are happening in your relationship and you feel the urge to intervene and to “help”, don’t take initiative first, don’t try to change things first, just lay back and wait for time to do its magic, it’s the most important thing you can do in order to stop being needy in your relationship.